Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I didn't know.
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
Fiction is obliged to stick with possibilities. Truth isn't.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot conscientiously be regarded as a thing of beauty.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.
The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.
Religion was invented when the first con man invented the first fool.