Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

Why authors write I do not know. As well ask why a hen lays an egg or a cow stands patiently while a farmer burglarizes her.

We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine.

The learned are seldom pretty fellows, and in many cases their appearance tends to discourage a love of study in the young.

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

I hate sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice.

A celebrity is a person known to many people he is glad he doesn't know.

The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.